harris teeter creepers

every month or so, i'll take a brief jaunt to the harris teeter that's a couple blocks from my work. i only grab a few things because i'm walking and there is nothing worse than struggling with too many bags by yourself on the street. except for the creepers in harris teeter. i'm sure there are more, but here are the top three creeper incidents i can recall:

1. after purchasing a few groceries i went to buy a money order (my checkbook is MIA) and had a HT worker come up to me and say, "wow your tights match your eyes, how did you do that?" my response was something like, "uhhhhhhhhh, my tights are grey." i then stared wide-eyed at HT employee behind the counter with a scared expression. apparently this may have been her man because she was not pleased about my tights being a window to my soul. awkward.

2. while looking at peaches in the produce section, another HT patron came up to the peaches. after picking up a few he says to me, "how can you tell if they're ready?" with a sly grimace and stance. i simply said, "they should be a bit squashy," and never made eye contact. squashy seemed like the least sexual word i could possibly come up with, especially in comparison to firm, soft or god forbid, ripe. i thought my annoyed voice and general disdain would throw him off, but instead he said, "i thought you wanted them squashy, that's how i like them." inner monologue went something like this, "OMG wtf is wrong with people! gross! gross! gross!" i quietly rolled my cart away with my nose in the air pretending the whole place stunk, which it now did, with creeptastic cologne.

3. lastly, i used to occasionally get deli meat from the counter, taking way too much time to make up my mind and then getting something like a quarter pound of boar's head turkey and munster cheese. i annoy myself sometimes. anyway, the guy behind the counter was always a little too friendly, trying to chat me up and such and even coming out from BEHIND the counter to talk and walk me toward the rest of the store. i stopped getting deli meat shortly after that. well fast forward about six-eight months and i'm over at pentagon row on a sunday, crossing the street from the plaza side to the mall and this obnoxious guy starts waving his hands and screaming, "hello! how are you!" i had no idea who this was or why he was talking to me, so i made a my hard bitch face and kept walking to the mall. about thirty minutes later, i crossed back to the plaza side and went into nordstroms rack to browse for a dress. i am skimming through a rack of dresses when the same guy comes right up to me (way too close!) and very loudly says, "don't you remember me? how have you been? i used to work at harris teeter! hello! hello!" i was completely taken aback and said something clever like, "uh, hi" and looked back at the rack of clothes. he stood there for a minute and then said, "okay bye! see you soon!"

*image is from trader joes, no creepers there, just telloffs.*