Whenever I take a personality test, I always predictably land right in the middle of the extroverted and introverted pack. That means a good chunk of the time I am energized by working and talking with other people. But if I have to be ON too much, I am drained and without much warning will need to retreat and recharge. This usually comes in the form of reading, face masking or going for a run. For a working mom with two young children it can be challenging to find any kind of balance (read: time). A lot of maintaining my best self has come in the way of saying no. To a lot of stuff. It used to make me feel exceedingly guilty. But finally, at 40, I am ok with it.
No, I cannot meet at 5:30 p.m. to discuss X with you, but let's make find another good time for both of us. No, you cannot talk to me that way now or ever. No, you cannot have ice cream for breakfast but you can have watermelon. No, I need to eat lunch now, but I can talk to you when I'm done. No, I cannot read little critter over and over and over again, but I can in five minutes. No, I don't want to go back to bed, I want to take a run and pound out some of this stress on the pavement.
It's really hard some days. And I fail at it. Regularly. But I am pushing myself more to find the calm. To be open and honest and ultimately kind to others and myself. I want my boys to see how hard I try but also that I put myself first. By prioritizing myself I hope I am taking better care of them, better care of my responsibilities and better care of myself. And on the days when Sol wakes up at 6:30 a.m. and I have eight meetings overlapping all over my calendar, I pull out my power dress, eat some peanut m&m's and go for it.