atticus has been my alarm clock for the past 19 months. well actually, 28 months. he had his own dance schedule and granola needs to attend to even then.
but even before atty, alarm clocks and i were never the best of friends. first of all, i detest the snooze button. i know many of you will be appalled and close this browser since the snooze button is universally loved. but i am here to tell you that the snooze button is not your friend. this is what the snooze button really does:
beep! beep! time to get up!
you hit the precious snooze button
pull covers over your head and think yes! i don't have to get up! you almost fall back to sleep when....
beep! beep!
just kidding! time to get up!
you slam the snooze button
you probably start cursing the world now and think of all the crap you have to do today when...
beep! beep!
wake up a$$hat!
now you actually get out of bed, totally pissed off and totally tired.
how people do this more than one time is amazing to me. it's like watching two and a half men more than once. why would you ever do that to yourself again? anyway, i have rarely used an alarm clock, but sometimes i get paranoid and feel like i need a full proof method. for those times handful of times i use an alarm clock.
this past sunday i was scheduled to drive my in-laws to the airport at 6:30 a.m. weeks before, i had already decided that i would get up at 6 a.m. to treat myself to a starbucks iced coffee, drive-thru style, before picking them up. i even went to bed on the early side and of course, set my alarm for 6 a.m. then it happened. my half sleep mind took over the sane part of my brain. around 1 a.m. i became convinced i would oversleep and they would miss their flight. around 1:30 a.m. it was time to get up. at 2 a.m. i was so happy to have four more hours of "sleep." at 3 a.m. i contemplated turning my alarm off to trick myself into actually sleeping. at 4 a.m. it must have been almost 6 a.m. right? at 5 a.m. i started contemplating the pastry case at starbucks. at 5:45 a.m. i got up. next time i think i need a back up method, i'm going to put the alarm clock in with atticus. he'll show that snooze button who's boss.
beep! beep! time to get up!
you hit the precious snooze button
pull covers over your head and think yes! i don't have to get up! you almost fall back to sleep when....
beep! beep!
just kidding! time to get up!
you slam the snooze button
you probably start cursing the world now and think of all the crap you have to do today when...
beep! beep!
wake up a$$hat!
now you actually get out of bed, totally pissed off and totally tired.
how people do this more than one time is amazing to me. it's like watching two and a half men more than once. why would you ever do that to yourself again? anyway, i have rarely used an alarm clock, but sometimes i get paranoid and feel like i need a full proof method. for those times handful of times i use an alarm clock.
this past sunday i was scheduled to drive my in-laws to the airport at 6:30 a.m. weeks before, i had already decided that i would get up at 6 a.m. to treat myself to a starbucks iced coffee, drive-thru style, before picking them up. i even went to bed on the early side and of course, set my alarm for 6 a.m. then it happened. my half sleep mind took over the sane part of my brain. around 1 a.m. i became convinced i would oversleep and they would miss their flight. around 1:30 a.m. it was time to get up. at 2 a.m. i was so happy to have four more hours of "sleep." at 3 a.m. i contemplated turning my alarm off to trick myself into actually sleeping. at 4 a.m. it must have been almost 6 a.m. right? at 5 a.m. i started contemplating the pastry case at starbucks. at 5:45 a.m. i got up. next time i think i need a back up method, i'm going to put the alarm clock in with atticus. he'll show that snooze button who's boss.
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