matzoh brei.

I like to think of myself as an honorary Jewish person. My Stepdad, Walter, and brother and sister, Kate and David, are Jewish, so I likely have a firmer grasp of Judaism than the average Catholic school girl (that's kindergarten-12th grade people). I attended passover sedars, watched them light the menorah, played with dreidels, made fun of David in his yarmulke, really made fun of my uncles when they wore yarmulkes, listened to stories of Ester, learned about sukkots and of course (duhhh) enjoyed all of the food. See there was a silver lining to growing up in a dual-religious household.

My catholic mother always went out of her way to make traditional Jewish fare for her husband and children, her passover sedar alone would make any Jewish woman kvetsh with shame. Don't forgot about her latest invention of matzoh bark (read: matzoh crack) that is so beyond addictive, it makes Dunkin Donuts paranoid. That recipe to come very soon (i hope!).

Anyway, matzoh breis were always weekend breakfast/brunch fare. On schooldays I always chose sleep over food, knowing I usually had extra candy bars from the stack I was supposed to be selling for whatever cause we were up to in the 1992-1996 period. During that time, I actually used to get fully dressed and then get back into bed in my hein uniform to sleep an extra 10 minutes before running to catch the bus. Classy right? Anyway, I haven't really thought of matzoh breis for awhile, that is until passover rolled around and boxes of matzoh were everywhere I looked, including the office. So I snagged a piece to bring home to make a matzoh brei for dinner a few weeks ago.

First, beat two eggs with a little cream and water, and the usual spices of your choice. Add one piece of matzoh broken into smallish pieces and let it soak for a good 10-15 minutes.

At this point, you could just butter your skillet and spread your egg/matzoh mixture into a pan and fry it up. It's very good just as is. Buttttttt as stated above I'm not really Jewish. so I don't follow kosher. So I'm allowed to add some delicious ingredients that just happen to be very non-kosher in their nature. So for those of you trying a matzoh brei for the first time (and who are likely also of the non-Jewish descent) you might like these additions.

So....to a warmed and butter skilled add some chopped salami! Ahhhh blashpemy! Or whatever the equivalent in Judaism is that I couldn't be disobeying more unless I added heaps of shellfish. Hmmmm. But wait, before the salami, add some chopped onions, shallots and garlic. I didn't want to bury the lede there, so I went full salami. So, let your garlic and onions sweat it out for a good 5-7 minutes, then add chunks of chopped salami. continue till salami gets a bit crispy and onions start to caramelize. Remove from pan.

Then add a bit more butter (hey, i never said this recipe was totally healthy) to the pan along with your egg/matzoh mixture. Try to spread it out as evenly as you can. Let it cook till edges look set, (about 5-7 minutes) which if you cooked eggs or seen anyone cook eggs at anytime in your life you might have somewhat of a clue as to when they've set. Then very carefully flip your matzoh brei over, trying to keep it in one piece. About another 2 minutes before its perfect. Remove and top with your salami and onion mixture as a lovely and edible garnish. Screw parsley.

Sliced up a a la pizza pie, which you would think make it last longer. But if you know me, that's really not the case. The whole matzoh brei was safely and soundly in my tummy in about 10 minutes flat. None for Nelzo, all for Jesse. Booyakasha.